This past weekend, we witnessed a beautiful union in which the couple wrote vows to each other detailing their personal story and feelings. The two had been on such an emotional journey as a couple that it was hard not to cry!
Writing your own vows is such a touching and intimate way to personalize your union. It shows both your partner (and your guests!) how you truly feel about each other and what you are promising to do in order to support the marriage. However, it can be quite a daunting task once you actually put pen to paper. You find yourself wondering where to start????
Here are some tips to get you started on writing your own vows….
1. Jot It Down!
In the months leading up to your marriage, jot down sentences and ideas as they pop into your head. When you are at work or at the grocery store and you hear or think of something perfect, write it down in your phone! Add these phrases to your vows…you probably won’t use half of them but you don’t want to think back to your ceremony and wish you had said something else. It’s better to have extra material to work with than not enough.
2. Read Other Vows
Get to know and understand what you like and don’t like. Search on the internet for past vows, famous love letters, and quotes to get the ball rolling. There are a bunch of different styles out there, figure out which best suits you and your partner. Some people lean more towards a romantic vibe whereas others like more humor in it. Find out what best reflects your situation and don’t be afraid to steal! You’re not in school anymore so, more than likely, no one will know you plagiarized someone else’s thoughts.
3. Take It Step By Step
An easy way to start collecting your thoughts is to make a simple worksheet. Get a notepad and write down 5 ideas for each category:
- How You Met
- How They Make You Feel
- Things You Like About Them
- Promises You Will Make to Them (Make it personal!! i.e. things you will do for them when they are happy/sad.)
- What You Hope for the Future
This will give you an excellent jumping point in which to start putting it all together.
4. Speak From the Heart
Writing your own vows is a direct reflection on your relationship in regards to where you have been, where you are right now, and where you want to be in the future. Write down specific moments that brought you to this union and promises that you will make to continue growing as one. These vows are going to be eternally meaningful. As you continue down your path and perhaps hit a speed bump, reflect back and connect once again to those promises you made. It will be all the more important because they are so personal and not just recited wedding vows.
5. Give Them to the Officiant!
We cannot stress this enough. You are going to be running around from place to place on the day of and it is one less thing for you to worry about. Even if you think you have them memorized, have them there just in case. It may seen silly now, but once you start speaking your vows it can get really emotional. It is really helpful to have a copy on hand just in case. Your officiant can also help to make sure that the two vows are close in length and tone should you wish to keep it a surprise from your partner.
6. Practice, Practice, Practice!
This is the last and most important step. You are going to get nervous and that is totally okay. However, make sure you practice as this will make you better prepared for the day. Read slowly, enunciate, and go with confidence! You can do it!!